His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
