Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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