just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
