it's too hot outside to masturbate.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
