I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
