Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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