I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Randomize
