He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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