But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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