so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
We need to get me chipped asap
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
