I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
