You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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