Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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