i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
