look no pants
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize