just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
