I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize