its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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