used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Randomize
