Hey man sorry I got all grabby
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
this boner is exhausting
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize