Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize