you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I can text with my tongue
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
