so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You can't motorboat a personality
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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