He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Don't EVER smell your tampon
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
