I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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