Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
