weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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