In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize