ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
