we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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