oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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