its not stalking. its research.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize