i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
