Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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