Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
