everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
It was like giving head to a cactus.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
