THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
