I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
