you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
