I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
did you just send me my own nude
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
