My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
