Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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