Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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