The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
People in love make me want to vomit
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
