Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
