Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I feel like abortions should bother me more
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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