At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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