I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
