went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
