My friends, they love my intelligence
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
