Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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