I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
