Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
pray to the hookup gods
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
