I swear she didn't look like that last week.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize