Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
