There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
