I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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