i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
