I need help removing her.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
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