Yo dont text me then not text me
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize