How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
