so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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